Feel Out Meaning
by Ginga aka KTB
Summary: [ShinoKiba] The boys discover something about each other and don't want to let go.


Shino liked the good weather. It allowed him to be outside without worrying about catching cold or any other weather-related illness. It also allowed the bugs and insects to run freely in the warm air. It was all they had been having lately, good weather that is. It made him happy, but then again nice weather also meant that he had to work throughout the day with his father, learning new jutsu and other moves to help him in the final stage of the chunin exam.  
  
First work and then play, it was the way of any ninja and any person following any self-disciplining guidelines. If only it considered thirteen- year olds who didn't get out much. Shino's father was standing in front of him in an attack position, showing him some move that he would have to memorize and repeat later in the day, or if he was lucky, tomorrow. This day was quite nearly at its halfway mark. The sun shone over the fence that enclosed itself around the Aburame household. There was almost not a cloud in the sky, that is, not overhead.  
  
It was out of the corner of his eye that he saw his mother in the doorway, which led to the gardens and the yard. Shino stood up to his full height and not the slouched position his father had just shown him. His father turned to face his mother and asked what was wrong. She replied that Shino had a visitor. It was when Shino heard the familiar bark that he figured out who had come to visit.  
  
"Father, may I be excused for the rest of the day."  
  
His father stood silent, but then nodded. Shino thanked his father before he went to greet his company who decided to just drop by. He liked having visitors over, but sometimes it was nice to be able to focus on tasks at one thing at a time. It made life a bit smoother. Then again, his teammates had shown him that taking it easy wasn't the only way to do things. Namely, one person out of the two teammates had shown him this; and he was sitting outside of the house with his dog rolling around in the grass.  
  
"Hey, Shino. What's going on? I haven't seen you for a while."  
  
That was true he hadn't seen Kiba for almost two weeks and it was only for a brief moment. They hadn't been able to talk much after the third round of the examinations. Kiba had been in the hospital recuperating and Shino had been starting his training under his father and Kurenai-sensei. He had been busy ever since and had seen Kiba once while shopping for his mother. They were able to speak for a few minutes, but had to part ways because their families were expecting them to return. Hinata, too, had been missing from his world ever since the end of the third examination. It was hard to keep in touch when he was always so busy.  
  
"I've been here training. Like you should be at home."  
  
Kiba scowled and turned to face the street. Akamaru's head perked up, but then went back to hunting beetles in the grass.  
  
"I have been, but it's as they say. All work and no pay makes jack a dull boy."  
  
Shino's mouth quirked into a lopsided grin. It was what Kiba was known for in their little group. He was loudmouthed, brash, and loved to act on instinct, but one thing he could always be counted on saying was telling things like it is. He didn't sugar coat it or try to shy around the question, all you got was a blunt answer and that was it.  
  
"Hey, Shino?" Shino turned to his teammate and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to head to the field? I bet we could get a nice breeze over there."  
  
Shino nodded as he stood up and waited for Kiba to call for Akamaru. The field was just outside of the training grounds. It usually was calm except for the few kids that ran around there every once in a while. It was a nice place. There were plenty of insects he could sense and Kiba liked it because of the open fields. Kiba had said that he and Akamaru loved open fields because there were really no restraints, like in a forest where you had to keep an eye out everywhere you went. Shino failed to mention that you had to watch even the tall grasses of a meadow when you were on duty, but he didn't have the heart to put a damper on Kiba's good mood.  
  
One thing Shino had noticed about his friend was that when Kiba had bad days everybody would come to know about it in due time. He had the type of anger that could be set off by the incessant humming of a fly's wings and his moods could last for a minute to almost a whole day. It was totally the opposite of when he was calm and happy. It was a rarity to see Kiba calm, but Shino had seen it before. A few times, this side came out while they were at the field. To see him absolutely happy was also very rare, but it also came to when they were at the field. That field was precious to Kiba, and who was to deny him of it?  
  
The walk to the field wasn't too far or too strenuous. It was fairly easy to get to and fairly easy to get lost in the forest surrounding it if you didn't know where you were going. Being there so many times allowed the boys easy access and this made the trip all worth it. When they arrived they saw the place was deserted except for the few squirrels and other small mammals looking for food. Kiba let Akamaru go and chuckled as the dog went after each and every one of the creatures before returning back to his master.  
  
Kiba praised the dog and then walked over to a spot in the middle of the field and laid himself down in the grass. Shino followed suit, but only sat next to his teammate and watched Akamaru chase dragonflies as they zoomed by.  
  
"Hey, Shino."  
  
Shino turned his attention to Kiba and waited for him to ask his question.  
  
"Are you nervous at all? You know, for the next round."  
  
Shino had figured a question like this would have come up. He knew that Kiba had wanted to continue on the next round, but it was also a good thing he had lost. It gave him a chance to become better and to sharpen his skills; and that he now had a profound respect for Naruto.  
  
"I don't really know." Kiba looked at him with a look that said something like; "You are such a bad liar." He understood what Kiba was getting at, but he told the truth, he didn't know as of yet. "I think I need to find out where I stand before I think about how well I'll do."  
  
Kiba nodded and looked back up to the sky. It was beginning to get cloudy and a bit windier. It'll probably end up raining before the day is through. Looking at Kiba again he noticed that the other was probably thinking the same thing. That was until he spoke again.  
  
"What if you're chosen?"  
  
The thought of being one of the few chosen to be a chunin had crossed his mind dozens of times after he had passed the third exam. Sure, it would be a great honor to be chosen a higher ranking when only having been a genin for only about a year, but this was something that couldn't be seen as taken lightly. It would mean putting his life in the line for the village and that would be a huge responsibility. And asking a thirteen-year old to do something like that was asking a bit much, but most genin would be willing to do it.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
From the looks of it, Kiba didn't like that answer.  
  
"How can you say that?" He was getting angry. "You'll be in such a high position. Higher than the rest of us at least. Hell, you could probably be a leader of genin and stuff. We'd probably never see you around again."  
  
Kiba's voice almost seemed to falter with the last remark. Was that what he was worried about? The idea that Shino would never have the chance to see them again? It was almost ridiculous to think about. Kiba could probably care less if Shino had been allowed to become a higher rank, but then the fact of them not being able to see each other would ring true. He'd be busy gaining experience on missions and practicing with his father even more so than he was doing now. He wouldn't be placed with his teammates unless they were ordered to be part of a team he would have to lead. It all had to do with rank.  
  
"Kiba, I really don't know. I guess we could meet every once in a while. It all depends on what they want me to do."  
  
Kiba's anger didn't leave his eyes. He was mad about something and Shino had no idea what to do. From a further away he could hear Akamaru whine, but Kiba didn't reply. What was bothering him so much anyway? Shino was sure that Kiba wanted to be a chunin more that he did, but this didn't really sound like jealousy. Was Kiba really edgy because he would be leaving the group if he did pass?  
  
"We'll see what happens when the time comes."  
  
Kiba scoffed and stood up walking in the direction of Akamaru. Now he seemed that ignoring Shino would be the only way to calm himself down. Maybe their companionship would last past the exams; if so that wouldn't be too bad. Compared to some groups, the three of them got along pretty well, other than the fact Kiba was always on about a territorial-leader thing. Other than that they didn't fight and they could trust each other too. So why would a little thing like the chunin exams be such a big deal?  
  
Instead of thinking about what Kiba was thinking he turned to see the dragonflies hover and glide every which way. He remembered catching the little ones with his energy when he was younger. His father had taught him how when he was only about four and had used it till this day with many insects that were much larger and more of a threat, but today he figured that dragonflies would be his focus. It was after the fifth dragonfly was hovering over his head when he heard Akamaru bark.  
  
"Shino, what the hell are you doing? You're keeping them all to yourself!"  
  
Shino thought that with all the dragonflies in the field he could hardly be keeping them all to himself, while deciding to explain this to Kiba he was instead tackled to the ground.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Come on let's go. I can take you on."  
  
Shino mentally sighed. Kiba acted just like a puppy. He wanted to get up and play anytime that he had free. Sometimes, like all dogs, playing could get rough. Shino just wasn't in the mood.  
  
"Not today."  
  
"You're kidding me, right?" Shino pushed his body back into a sitting position, but was pushed down and held by Kiba. "You're not getting out of it that easily. What's wrong with you anyway?"  
  
Shino didn't answer. He didn't want to anyway. He only wanted to hear why Kiba was so moody today.  
  
"Fine. Don't say anything to me. I'll just wait here till you say something."  
  
Shino knew he would have to say something, if anything, Kiba would keep him there till who knows when and he really didn't want an irate Kiba not talking to him after today.  
  
"You'd miss me. Wouldn't you?"  
  
The words seemed to hit Kiba with force because he jumped off Shino as if he had been punched. The other's eyes were wide and he looked as if he would bolt from the field and try to avoid Shino for the rest of his life. Akamaru sensed his owner's surprise and looked over the tall grasses with worry. Kiba never acted this way, and if he did it was very rare. Just like Kiba being calm and happy, it was rare to see him look so shocked. Kiba sat up and looked away from Shino only to reply.  
  
"So what if I would?"  
  
Shino's mouth came up into a small smile. It was hidden, but it was there and Kiba wouldn't turn around to see it. He was so damn stubborn and a little too narrow-minded to see these things. Especially since they were so obvious.  
  
"I'd miss you, too."  
  
It came out of his mouth before Shino understood what he was implying. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be close, but not this close. That is if Shino hadn't gotten his wires crossed the wrong way. In which, he was sure he didn't.  
  
Kiba's reaction was nothing more than a big grin and then an unexpected pounce. Akamaru's barking told Shino that his master was in a better mood. In fact, both of their moods had brightened considerably since arriving at the field. The grass was soft and Shino allowed both of them to lie on the earth while facing the sky to see the coming rainstorm. Not much was said after the confession, but it was a good quiet silence that made both feel so comfortable.  
  
**  
  
It had rained that day. Like that day, today it also rained. Drowning sorrows of those still mourning their loved ones fell from the sky and drenched the spirits of those who were outdoors. The funeral for the Third hokage had been two days ago, but the wound was still fresh in the village. People seemed to be walking as if the had to do anything to just live. The Third was a great part of this village and now it was as if the piece that had been present left an empty hole inside everyone's heart.  
  
Shino has been training with his father since he had been able to recover from the poison that had been coursing through his system. He hadn't seen his teammates since before the final exam and that had been almost two weeks ago. He also went on missions with his father, however dangerous or boring they may have been.  
  
Now he sat at home reading a couple articles that had been posted in the newspaper earlier this week. Nothing important had happened really. The body count of those who were killed had halted and now the obituary section seemed to grow faster than news could travel. It was depressing; Shino was getting depressed. He missed his teammates and his free time. He missed so much.  
  
Standing up, Shino grabbed his usual coat and donned it while walking out the door. If he were going to walk out in the rain he would at least bring a coat. The rain was cold, and he felt the cool drops drip down his neck soaking the collar of his shirt. It was comforting in such a mood as the one he seemed to be drowning in. He allowed his feet to lead him to anywhere his mind wanted them too. It didn't matter. He just needed to get out and away from the stresses he didn't want to deal with.  
  
He walked back to that field, the field where he had felt something he knows a thirteen-year old was too young to feel. Or at least a thirteen- year old wasn't supposed to feel this way about his friend and teammate. The rain would tell him what to do. The rain would kiss him wherever he dreamed his friend kissed him. It felt so good, this cold numbness.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
Shino froze and turned to see said friend looking at him with something akin to anger and frustration. Umbrella kept the other dry and Shino noticed the other's little friend gone from his side. That was unusual.  
  
"I'm running away."  
  
The other didn't seem have been expecting that answer.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kiba's voice started getting louder. He was getting annoyed.  
  
"Nothing important."  
  
This seemed to make the other even madder. He was always so susceptible to anger, but thing was that he knew it. He was quite aware of it actually. The again, Kiba never did anything about it.  
  
Shino registered the other's movement and soon felt the coldness that had been falling upon him suddenly come to a halt. Looking at the other's face he saw that toothy grin the other always had. He liked it. It gave him the character in which Shino would never be able to accomplish. He had to admit that he was the slightest bit jealous of the other boy. It wasn't fair he could do things like that to him without even knowing or trying.  
  
Then again, maybe he could tell.  
  
Shino took a few steps closer and avoided Kiba's gaze as he leaned his head on the other's shoulder. He was so warm in this wet chill. He was comforting, and after what had felt like a tense shock, Kiba's body seemed to relax.  
  
The stood like that as the rain continued to fall around them. The pitter-patter of the drops bouncing off of the umbrella's material had been the only sound for a minute, until Shino heard Kiba sigh.  
  
"You are such an idiot."  
  
Shino lifted his head from Kiba's shoulder and looked to seem his friend's grin still on his face. Why did he allow himself to care too much? He was surprised to feel two arms gathering his chilled, wet body closer to his friend. He was even more shocked to feel Kiba's hands run up and down his back, lightly touching his spine. An absent reminder to keep warm. Shino's felt his own hands gripping the sides of his friend's jacket and smiled softly when he felt how warm it was, how warm Kiba was.  
  
He became exceptionally warm when he felt lips lightly touch his own in what was a very chaste kiss.  
  
"You're so damn cold."  
  
Shino could mentally see that grin again. He could see the sharp canines and the upturn of the corner of his lip. It was all instinct from there as Shino moved to nip Kiba's lower lip. The soft bite made the other boy go after Shino's mouth and soon the two were bound by the lips again, this time in a hungrier embrace. Soon the umbrella fell to the moist grass, forgotten, as the boys kept themselves occupied with more important things. Heat rose in the surrounding cold and in the end that was all that mattered.  
  
**  
  
Shino noticed that Hinata had been coming by more and more often, probably due to the fact that his mother kept inviting his teammate over for things like "tea" or "lunch" and the occasional "dinner". It didn't really bother Shino too much. Personally, he liked Hinata. It was the fact that his mother preferred to have her over rather than Kiba was what made him sore. Ever since the kiss in the field, the two boys had been almost inseparable, albeit missions and other family affairs. Kiba had grown accustomed to his mother's stern glance and his father's almost indifferent attitude while Shino became used to the other's loudmouthed, brash father and almost sheltering, but stern mother. Each parent had their own view of the relationship between sons. From what they saw, it was a harmless connection within camaraderie, but in reality the line went deeper.  
  
Now, with Hinata always being invited by his mother, Shino found less and less time to be alone with Kiba. It was downright frustrating when it all came down to the end. Yet all Shino could do is sit and accept his mother's suggestions of how nice the Hyuuga girl was and also suggestions of why she wasn't over more often and invitations to short afternoon get- togethers. It really was quite pathetic and Shino didn't like the fact that poor Hinata had to get involved. She had enough problems on her shoulders without Shino's mother getting involved. Then again, the Aburame household was closer to the lower branch of the Hyuuga family that the main house was. Hinata probably didn't mind too much the walk she'd make to go to his home.  
  
Then there was the fact that she had a clue about how much Kiba meant to him.  
  
It was only a couple days ago, when Hinata was over to help press some flowers for Shino's mother. Shino had been reading a short book as the two females in the house arranged the petals and leaves to make intricate designs that would stay for quite a while. It was quite and Shino almost missed the sound of Akamaru and the sarcastic ring of Kiba's voice. That was until the all too familiar bark rang just outside the front door. Shino looked over the edge of the book to glance out the window then shifting his gaze over to his mother. He almost grinned when he saw that she tried to keep herself occupied as if the dog's bark never happened. Hinata though, looked over to Shino and asked, "T-That wouldn't be Kiba-kun, would it?" That small stutter was still in her voice. At least the more confident she became the less of the stutter she'd speak. Shino nodded and stood up to go meet Kiba at the door. He heard his mother mumble something to herself before excusing herself to do something in the kitchen.  
  
Shino saw Kiba standing a bit further from the door than he anticipated, but a keen eye saw that the other wanted him to come closer, out of the way of prying eyes. Which Shino knew it meant his mother. Shino went outdoors and was quickly met by Kiba leaning in and stealing a quick kiss before passing around him and entering his home; though Shino had barely registered that the other had stopped in front of him as he entered the house. He was almost numb with shock when he saw the wide-eyed, pink tinged face of Hinata staring at the two of them as if she herself just realized that this made sense. That is, if one had wished to put the pieces together.  
  
That afternoon had been almost eerily quiet. Kiba was not as enthusiastic and that seemed to make Shino's mother happy for the time being. Though, by the end of the day when Kiba and Hinata had to go to there homes, Hinata smiled and whispered into Shino's ear saying "secret" quickly before doing the same to Kiba. Without a need for good-byes, Hinata left the two looking at her retreating back for the next minute or so before looking at each other with surprise written on both of their faces.  
  
Only a week later, Shino understood why Hinata seemed so much happier than before when she brought over a small token in a box. She had visited the lower Hyuuga household before her visit.  
  
**  
  
Shino had returned with his father after a night of being on constant watch. The mission had gone well and the capture had gone off without a hitch. Instead of staying awake for something to eat he began to walk in the general vicinity of his room. It was until his mother's voice and the worried face of Hinata that made him pause for a second. What was Hinata doing here so early?  
  
"Shino-kun."  
  
He knew it wasn't good; Hinata's usual small voice held some sort of sad strength; something that made his stomach curl into knots. What had happen in the few hours he was gone?  
  
"Shino, now don't be alarmed." His mother's voice made his blood run cold. She was almost never this sympathetic, unless...  
  
"What happened to him?"  
  
Hinata looked at her small fingers, her eyes holding an infinite sadness that could only be explained by people who knew her well. He was dreading to hear the answer, but then again, it would kill him not to know.  
  
"Kiba-kun was called for a mission early this morning with Shikamaru- kun, Chouji-kun, Naruto-kun, and Neji nii-san." Her voice almost broke with the last name and by the sound of things; she too had figured out that this was not a normal mission from the Leaf Village. One thing that gave that away was the amount of teammates involved and the fact that this mission was called in the early hours of the morning. He looked up to see Hinata give a wry smile. "They went out to bring back Sasuke-kun."  
  
Why would they need to bring back Sasuke...?  
  
"Shino-kun, I'm not sure why this happened, but I'm at least hoping for the best." Hinata's voice quivered slightly before she quickly and quietly excused herself from his home. He looked after her, brows furrowed. Was it really that serious? Would the last time Shino had touched Kiba be the last time he'd ever be able to do that? Their soft, experimental kisses could be over before anything ever really developed.  
  
Shino then had to wonder, would he ever be able to be with Kiba again? Despite his mother's soft words, he turned and began walking towards his room pausing for a couple seconds as he passed his father. The older man placed a hand on his son's shoulder and went on his way to talk to the angry, but concerned wife.  
  
Shino walked in the room that represented his life up to now. The sunlight, as it had since his birth, shown through the window in golden glades. The wooden floor that kept him from feeling the dirt beneath his toes, felt cool to the touch, but he barely registered the warmth of the light and coolness of the earth. Lying back on his bead he looked at the ceiling and did the only thing he thought he could do at a time like this. He would sit and wait for his friend, comrade, and new lover to return. 


End file.
